Animals. Music. Love.

I don’t know how to talk to people I don’t know

viarga:

how do i lose 30 pounds in 6 seconds

I feel disgusted with myself and I didn’t even do anything.

*makes one mistake after another*

monarchbaby:

mareeps:

still not sure what exactly math is

It’s buying 72 watermelons while not admitting you have a problem

royharper:

is he singing radiohead to your lamb?: i was the worst fucking stuffed animal namer as a kid

caterinasforzas:

completely uncreative or disastrously illogical:

• my great-uncle brian gaved me a 5-foot-tall panda bear. i was really original and named it brian.
• the next year, he gave me a stuffed kitten. i named it? brian.
• doll: brian (it should be noted that this was not given to me by anyone named brian)
• teddy bear: kosovo. to quote my creepy toddler self, “you know, after the war-torn region.”
• my grandpa gave me a doll as a christmas gift. i named her gift. (i made my mom exchange her for a black doll and then named the replacement learjet. okay, sure.)
• i had a unicorn named anyaferelda (anya for short, naturally) that i carried around everywhere from ages 3-5 by holding her neck in the crook of my elbow. her head fell off because the constant friction of me holding her like that wore through the fabric and stuffing. it was pretty traumatizing for everyone at hebrew school that day.
• i renamed josefina afinejo because it was “josefina sideways.”
• stuffed snow leopard: dad (yikes, who wants to unpack the emotional baggage on this one?)
• plush platypus: boulevard
• teddy bear: joan of arc
• stuffed cat: not a real cat (said very quickly)
• doll: crualidefornia (cruella de vil meets california? maybe?)
• stuffed ocelot: sandra (i was weirdly obsessed with “while you were sleeping” for a solid 4 months)
• entire beanie baby collection: the entire greek + nymphs/demigods/random mortals/creatures/etc.
• and finally, a teddy bear. named brian. what else?

I don’t know why, but recently my best friend is so rude to me. And it’s to the point where other people point it out. I’m getting so tired of it.

kushdrinker:

it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing 

That text shouldn’t have made me cry.

it’s okay though because right now I’m texing the cute boy that saved me sooo

i really have to pee but yesterday when I had to go pee around this time I fell into a giant ditch full of cow shit and had to be rescued soo i’m kinda scared.

dellycartwright:

white lips

pale face

squidwurd:

*tries to fit 6 months worth of flossing 5 minutes before dentist appointment*

evershlong:

my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.”